A salty salute to Tyrannosaurus Hives

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On July 20th 2004, Sweden’s The Hives released the album “Tyrannosaurus Hives”. Shame on me that I did not first hear any of it until late 2007 (big thank you to my dear friend Matt Herrebout for handing it to me). I guess it’s even more shameful that I hadn’t sat–or walked/drove/whatever–and listened to the whole thing until 2018. Unfortunately. Forgive me for making up lost time.

What I’ve learned is that Tyrannosaurus Hives is a twelve song/twenty-nine minute and fifty-eight second assault of rock and roll sonic stereo sound perfection. The cover is fantastic: look at those white ties!! One of them has great sideburns and a receding hairline, and still looks downright awesome despite of it.

Here are the official names of The Hives from inside the album booklet:

Howlin’ Pelle Almqvist, Nicholas Arson, Matt Destruction, Chris Dangerous, and Vigilante Carlstroem.

Ladies and gentleman, those are fantastic monikers.

I’ve spent many recent days taking a deep-dive of probably 213 listens to Tyrannosaurus Hives. 213 may not be exaggerated as my wife was in England for nine days–I needed to properly fill the time.

These are the notes that came to mind during my studies:

  • The opening song “Abra Cadaver” is not just a genius title for an opener. It’s a ferocious lead-in to give the listener the cocksure assurance that The Hives are not fu$*#ng around and the next 29 minutes will not only be meaningful, but also delightful. Starting off with a lighting drum fill, it’s completely on from there. Not just “on.” More like “on fire.” And the ape like “ew ew ew ew ew” with fifteen seconds remaining? Bloody hell how marvelous is that!? It’s Howlin’ Pelle’s signature stamp on this track 1 perfection.
  • On Tyrannosaurus Hives, The Hives master the art of the rock & roll song conclusion. For example: the best parts of “Two Timing Touch and Broken Bones,” “See Through Head,” and even “Dead Quote Olympics” are the final :25 seconds of each song. Don’t believe me? Listen to the damn things and see for yourself. This doesn’t sound like much time but when a track is only two minutes long, :25 seconds at maximum volume is plenty of time to jump and strut around your living room and get strange and curious looks from your dog Baxter. This happened at least 6 or 7 times last Saturday afternoon.
  • “Love In Plaster”: What a build! What a song! It’s on the longer end of songs for this album, clocking in an epic Sonic Youth-like 3 minutes 10 seconds. It really goes off the rails on several occasions then hammers back into the melody. Most excellent!
  • “Walk Idiot Walk”: Put this song on your earholes and walk through Rittenhouse Square at 12:15 pm on a Saturday. Without even realizing it, you won’t be walking. You’ll be strutting with an unprecedented swagger you may not realize you had. Try it. You won’t feel like an idiot at all. You’ll likely feel invincible.
  • On February 23rd 2008 (Saturday) Matt Herrebout and I saw The Hives at the Showbox Market in Seattle. They completely knocked us on our arse. After blasting the audience into a frenzy with “Walk Idiot Walk”, Howlin’ Pelle said to the audience: “Yes that really happened, you really just saw us do ‘Walk Idiot Walk’ right in front of your very eyes. You are not imagining things.” Howlin’ Pelle has a great Swedish accent, and it was an appropriate thing to say. Cocksure indeed, taken straight from Mick himself.
  • Simply put, the delightful hooks and turns and misdirections that “A Little More for Little You” takes the listener on is just straight-up refreshing. A sing-along question and answer chorus likely makes for a perfect live track for The Hives to hammer through.

 

Fellow comrade Kyle Allen from Rapid City, South Dakota shares my Hives sentiment. He saw The Hives open for The Strokes in 2002. Recently this is what he said about it:

“My most vivid memory is Pelle launching off the stage. Then he ran up the aisle. He was wearing a suit. Actually, they all were wearing suits. The same exact matching suit.”

The same exact matching suit. Like some kind of dapper wedding party, ready to provide the entertainment for the evening.

“…and ladies and gentlemen for Karen and Steven’s first dance united in marriage, here’s a special one called Abra Cadaver.” 

 

To wrap this up you can certainly say in the last 20+ years that music has gone through unbelievable changes. How we get it, how we hear it. The concept of a full complete album may be lost on what consumers are looking for versus just finding the song and playing it. The art form of putting together a complete album, and giving listeners joy by just pushing play and letting it go from beginning to end and letting it rip may not mean what it did in 1971. But holy smokes if this still matters to you, and this is what wets your fancy then Tyrannosaurus Hives is for you my friend. For chrissakes, who doesn’t have 29 minutes and 58 seconds to have their socks blown off? If you do, then buckle up. Tyrannosaurus Hives is a 1988 Corvette with a full tank of gas sitting on a straight empty highway. Just idling. Waiting for you to hammer the pedal. Go ahead, drop the hammer.

The Town Mile NFL Draft Podcast

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It’s Friday! The best day of the week! Why not get started with the Town Mile Podcast #11 to kickoff the weekend?!?! We hit the record button last night during the draft to provide our semi-kind of/maybe a little bit/probably not so knowledgeable commentary of the first round picks as they happened. Because you know what? You just don’t know how any of these young dudes are going to pan out. To prove that, we discussed four Chicago Bear picks in the last 20 years that I was 1000% sure were going to just be awesome. Starting with their ’98 top pick Cade McNown. Cade unfortunately did not turn out awesome.

Have a great weekend!

The moment in Düsseldorf when we finally heard Iron Maiden

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August 2011. I had recently made a pilgrimage to Germany, one that would end up being a life-changing move: I met my wonderful wife, cemented a lifetime of amazing friends, had my eyes opened to European culture, the whole nine yards.

After spending the first 3 months in Berlin, I finally arrived to my destination city that would become my home for the next two years: Düsseldorf, Germany. I walked through the center heart of the city on that first afternoon to what is called the Altstadt. The Altstadt is over a mile stretch of bars, restaurant, clubs, food, you name it. It’s one of those places where no matter what night you go there, it always feels like Saturday night every time.

There were so many places that were just rocking, and what really stood out that first walk through was how loud bars on the Düsseldorf Altstadt crank their music. I mean CRANK THEIR MUSIC, probably to absolute maximum volume. What I took away from it is that it must be the patrons way to lure people in. I can say for myself that it worked, because the first time I ever walked through the center of the Altstadt I passed one place in particular that was playing “The Number Of The Beast” by Iron Maiden as loud as I had ever heard it in my life.

“Holy s*#t, that’s Maiden!” is what I said to Justin Ross and Margarita Richards, who were with me at the time. I could see on their faces they weren’t interested in venturing in. So unfortunately that day we did not.

I had been trying to get into Iron Maiden for several years at that point. It wasn’t for lack of trying, but for a South Dakota metal kid who grew up on the polished and menacing Metallica crunch it was always different when I tried Maiden. It’s not the same kind of catchy. It’s something completely different.

Fast-forward 1.5 years. My family had flown in from South Dakota to visit, and we were having an epic time. My cousin Chris (our guest on TM Podcast #4) and I were walking through the Altstadt. We were taking it all in when lo and behold, the exact aforementioned place started cranking the hell out of the Iron Maiden track “Run To The Hills”. Chris and I wasted no time immediately entering this place where this sound was coming from. We entered without even thinking there was a choice. We belonged there.

Now if you’ve never heard “Run To The Hills”, it’s basically about the Native Americans trying to elude white settlers. I can heavily dive into this topic at another time, but what Iron Maiden has done in writing this epic song is hit on the head exactly what Native Americans went through at that time. They were escaping for safety by running to the hills, running for their lives.

Now inside the bar, Chris and I were completely blown away. Not just by the song, but by each and every person in this pub not saying a word other than screaming along to every lyric of Run To The Hills. We were sucked in, and embracing the sound along with them. Suddenly it made perfect sense to the Maidenth degree, the high-pitch octave vocals of Bruce Dickinson’s plea:

“RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN TOOOOOOOOOOO THAAAAAAAAA HIIIIIIIIIIIIIILS!!!”

I thought to myself with chills on the back of my neck: “Wow. Iron Maiden is loved in Deutschland.” 

It was pretty epic. The entire bar was packed, and every single occupant lived and breathed and moved to every sound of Run To The Hills. I’m confident there were some in the bar that didn’t even speak English, but they knew every single word. It was intense, and people were fired up.

With that I completely understood the awesome power of the sound of Iron Maiden. The vocals never again sounded too high-pitched, the guitars never again didn’t sound polished. The songs never again weren’t anything but powerful. It was almost as if this song belonged in an opera, it’s that dynamic.

To paraphrase our dear friend Eddie Vedder:

“We were absolutely blown away by the power of the sound, and by those who were making it.”

Fast forward again a few years later to last summer, when Chris and I went to see Maiden in Philadelphia–thanks to a generous gift from my mother-in-law! To prepare for this show, Chris and I really took an ultimate deep-dive into Maiden’s entire catalog: which in itself is no small task. With a total of 16 studio albums, Maiden has created an unprecedented body of metal work. Chris especially embraced and studied each show of this tour, which supported Maiden’s newest release: “The Book Of Souls.” He knew Maidens current setlist on the tour inside and out and was as prepared as any proper chap could be for what we would be seeing at Wells Fargo Center that night.

The show was indeed a marvelous time, starting from a tailgate which featured eight and nine year olds playing a live metal set in the parking lot. (This is true, they were called ‘Mantis’ and they really crushed it: playing long metal anthems such as Maiden’s “Hallow Be Thy Name” to Metallica’s “For Whom The Bell Tolls”).

Once inside, sure enough it was the exact set that Chris had been preparing for. One thing that struck both of us was how much humor was involved among the members of the group. Chris had the perfect description when he said it was almost like a Monty Python sketch. They had fun, they rocked, they laughed, they posed, they waved Union Jack, and on several occasions Bruce pleaded to the Philadelphia audience with his signature phrase:

“SCREAM FOR ME, PHILADELPHIA!!!!!!”

We certainly did. I had the hoarse voice the next day to prove it.

It was as if those German comrades years before in that loud metal bar in the Düsseldorf Altstadt were right all along. I’m honored that Chris and I were lucky enough to get in on their treasured metal gift.

That moment we heard Run To The Hills in that bar was real, it was intense, and it stands out as one of the sentinel moments of my German and European experience. Sound silly? Maybe. But don’t tell that to those dear patrons in that bar. Or the hundred million Maiden fans around the globe.

 

UP THE IRONS!!

 

 

 

 

The Town Mile Podcast #10: Anniversary Edition!

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The Town Mile Podcast is now 10 episodes deep! Great to get the band back together for a Friday kick-off to get caught up on all things Sixers, Opening Day, and the upcoming Creed 2 film.

Got a drive-time commute this morning?! Fire it up! It’s time for Friday!

 

 

 

 

 

The Town Mile Podcast #9: The 30 for 30 Episode

Happy freakin’ Saturday! It’s weekend time! Last night we recorded our 9th episode, Matt had the idea of discussing the ESPN 30 for 30 film series and rating our top 3 favorites. We also plugged a couple honorable mentions in there just for the heck of it. Got some free time this weekend? Road tripping somewhere? Fire it up! Thanks and have a great weekend.

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Jeff Cold Beer player of the week 3/16

This week we have Kirk Cousins. Kirk cashed in on a 3 year 84 mill guaranteed contract with the Minnesota Vikings this week. Kirk tricked the Vikings into thinking he is an elite quarterback and deserves 84 million dollars. Which is impressive and why he is the JCB player of the week. I don’t agree, but what do I know I’m a jabroni. Good for Kirk. That 84 million dollars will buy a lot of tin foil for all the steaks he will grill.

Yes Kirk Cousins grills his steaks with tin foil underneath…

YOU LIKE THAT!

Jeff Cold Beer Player of the Week 3/5

This weeks player of the week is Shaquem Griffin. Shaquem impressed scouts and put up some impressive numbers at the NFL combine this past week. What’s more impressive is that he did it with one hand. Literally.

Shaquem was born with amniotic band syndrome. Which means the fingers on his left hand were not fully developed as a child causing him pain every time he hit his hand. Having his hand properly amputated didn’t stop him from playing football. In 2017 he was the AAC defensive player of the year at UCF where he had 11.5 sacks and 92 tackles. Shaquem ran a 4.3 40 yd dash (fastest ever for a linebacker) and bench pressed 225 20 times pretty much with one hand. What is even more impressive is that Shaquem wasn’t even invited to the combine at first and now he is being considered a 4th round pick.