The WAY too late XFL fantasy draft

For those who don’t know: WWE President Vince McMahon announced he is bringing back the XFL in 2020. Back in 2000 the XFL took the sports world by storm bringing the type of football “people wanted to see” all offense, brutal hits, and hot cheerleaders. The league was founded by WWE president and CEO Vince McMahon and Dick Ebersol former president of NBC Sports. Also, according to the 30 for 30 doc about the XFL Dick Ebersol also founded SNL with Lorne Michaels. I personally did not know that so I thought that was pretty cool.

I digress. Inspired by the sports podcasts I listen to and also inspired by the book “Basketball And Other Things” by Shea Serrano where Shea drafts an all-fictional basketball team in one of the chapters, I thought I would draft my own XFL team. A couple of rules:

1. Fictional characters are allowed.

2. There is no rule against drafting a non pro athlete.

If you think someone that you know or if there is a celebrity out there that you think is athletic enough they are fair game. Because if you know anything about the XFL you know that anything goes and no one seems to give a shit about how well the game is being played because the people want to see the pageantry.

With that said being said here are my choices for my XFL team:

First Pick- Mike Winchell. Quarterback. (Friday Night Lights version)

Mike Winchell is pure grit and determination and a guy I want running my huddle. A little undersized and overlooked by college recruiters Mike gave those assholes from Dallas Carter all they could handle. I want a guy with fight in him and also because I like an underdog.

Second Pick-  Tony Mandarich. Offensive Tackle. (80s version)

Two Words. Horse Steroids. If that isn’t XFL worthy then I don’t know what is. Drafted second overall in the 89 draft behind Troy Aikman, some say Mandarich is the biggest bust in NFL history. That’s ok this is the XFL and I’m a big second chance guy so I’m going to give one to Tony.

Pick 3- Herschel Walker. Running back.

Herschel Walker has been on record multiple times saying that he would still be able to play today if given the chance. Herschel is probably the fittest dude on earth and he’s over 50. He does 18,000 push-ups a day and 20,000 sit-ups. He’s also dabbled in MMA, I think having some combat skills may come in handy in the XFL.

Fourth Pick- John Matuszak aka Sloth from the Goonies. Defensive End

Sloth actually played in the NFL. John Matuszak was a first overall pick in 1973 by the Houston Oilers and played most of his career with the Oakland Raiders. Sloth is a 2x Super Bowl champ and the kind of veteran presence I want in my locker room.

There it is. This is the foundation of a championship team. Someone get me Vince McMahon’s email.

P.S. I realize there is a dead guy on my team (RIP Sloth). Get over it.

TJ McConnell wants to be the next Jeff Cold Beer player of the week

It’s pretty obvious that TJ McConnell or as I like to call him Captain Grit saw that we awarded Jason Kelce with the JCB player of the week and got jealous. So TJ messes around and drops a triple double tonight. Off the Bench!

TJ finished with 10 points 11 assists and 10 boards. Captain Grit joins the likes of Clyde Drexler, Detlef Schrempf, and Jeremey Lin aka Linsanity. Just give the man the sixth man of the year award right now. The Sixers are balling right now and gaining a lot of momentum before the all star break.

Philly don’t think the Birds are the only team that are going to be parading. I’m sorry to all the people out there that hate to see Philly celebrate but the Sixers are coming for that parade.

Jeff Cold Beer Player of the week 2/12

 “Chase Utley hold my beer I’m about to burn down philly with my fiery words of passion”. That I assume is a direct quote from our JCB player of the week this week Jason Kelce.

Chase I love you man but dropping a F bomb isn’t going to cut it. Jason, in my opinion is the cooler of the Kelce brothers and proved my point last Thursday as the birds celebrated their first Super Bowl victory.

Jason Kelce is what Philly loves in their athletes. A guy that will stand up for the city and its people and realizes that it’s more than just a game for some people. Congrats Jason the first six pack at JCB is on us.

Is Logic wearing the Brooks Glycerin?!?

Is comfort the new swag? I think it might be or at least in Logic’s world it is. When I’m not co hosting the number 1 up and coming podcast my day job is working for Philadelphia Runner Philly’s number one running specialty store. The shoes Logic has on in this pic are not Off Whites, not Jordan’s, not NMDs but none other than the Brooks Glycerin 14.

Now for those of you that don’t know the Glycerin is high cushion running shoe that is very popular in the running community but it is not often seen worn casually by famous hip hop artists. You are more likely to see the Brooks Glycerin being worn by little old ladies walking around the city with their wheelie shopping baskets.

The shoe is definitely more functional than casual, but I give a lot of credit to Logic here he just says fuck it my feet are comfortable as fuck I don’t care what it looks like. And to be honest I think he is rocking them pretty well. So I commend Logic on his new fit. Who knows maybe you’ll see Big Sean wearing the Asics nimbus soon.

Yea I know what you’re thinking and yes I was creeping on Logics Instagram because that picture is from a few weeks ago.

P.S. Loving the festivus shirt.

The Dallas Cowboys are desperate for content

Quick shout out to the Cowboys who tweeted today basically bragging about how many former coaches and players are in the NFC and AFC championships this weekend. Hey Cowboys this is SAD! As an Eagles fan thank you for that tweet because it’s great to see you guys make fools of yourselves. https://twitter.com/dallascowboys/status/953050677839876096

Jeff Cold Beer player of the week

Every Friday we will be posting the Jeff Cold Beer player of the week. This week the winner is Tua Tagovailoa. Tua is from the island of Hawaii so he is automatically cooler than you, he also replaced Jalen Hurts in Monday nights college football national championship game at halftime and led the Tide to victory. Tua can throw a 50 yard bomb and also play the ukulele like Hendrix plays lefty guitar.

Why you should listen to Eric “The Hip Hop Preacher” Thomas all the time.

Hello all of you “Milers” out there. This is Matt and this is my first blog post on the town mile. I just want to take a minute and tell you all how FIRE Eric “the hip hop preacher” Thomas is (fire is millennial talk for really really good). If you have never heard of Eric Thomas stop what you are doing and search him on you tube. I’ll wait right here till you are done. The guy is incredible. I have one of his “albums” I guess you can say on my Spotify playlist, and I listen to him regularly whether I’m at the gym or just walking around the beautiful city of Philadelphia. The guy gave a talk about his grandmothers fried chicken and it made me want to stop what I was doing and go climb Mt. Kilimanjaro. Well maybe not that extreme but you get my point the guy makes you want to run through a wall. The greatest thing about his speeches is the delivery and the way he tells real life stories and spins it into a useful way to navigate life. I.E. the fried chicken speech. A lot of motivational speakers are going to talk about a lot of the same things but with Eric Thomas the way he yells and screams (in a good way) and his swag is what attracts you and makes you see and hear how passionate he is about what he is saying. After you listen to him you want automatically want to try and be better and if you don’t it feels like you are disappointing him in some way. One of my personal favorites is when he ROASTS Celtics guard Marcus Smart for oversleeping and being late to a playoff against the Cavaliers. I think he was more pissed off then Danny Ainge probably was and he doesn’t even work of the team! Eric Thomas is my guy, Tony Robbins you can have your self help books and Netflix specials I’m rolling with ET till the end.

 

 

I mean if this video doesn’t get you fired up there is something wrong.